Listed below are sample FAQs from the publication, “Caring at Home- FAQs by patients and relatives” by Karunashraya. The book is available at Karunashraya.

Will I spread this disease to others?

Cancer is neither a contagious nor an infectious disease. Hence, there is no way your disease could spread to others. However, if you have an infection it might be important to take some simple precautions such as hand washing and disinfection of soiled clothes and linen. There is absolutely no need to isolate yourself.

Will the disease be inherited by my children?

Only some cancers are heritable and may run in families. It may be better for you to discuss it with your doctor if the idea is of great concern to you. If you find from your doctor that you have an inheritable cancer, you and your family can seek genetic counselling.

How does cancer spread?

Cancer usually spreads in three ways.

• Directly, i.e. to the tissues surrounding the tumour.
• Through blood.
• Through another transport system in the body called lymphatics.

What are the causes of cancer?

There are a few known causes of cancer but in many instances, the cause may never be known. Some of the known causes are -
Heredity (eg., breast cancer), smoking (eg. lung cancer), tobacco chewing (oral cancer), excessive alcohol use (oral and oesophageal cancer) and working with dyes (cancer of the urinary bladder).

Will my end be painful?

Different persons may have different experiences in this state. There would be usually be some discomfort, pain and distress. The doctors and nurses will try to make things less distressing for you. If you have any particular fears, do discuss them with your care-giver or doctor.

What will my symptoms be when I die?

It is very difficult to tell what the exact symptoms will be at the time of death; it may be different in each patient. Usually there is some breathing difficulty and loss of consciousness.

Who will look after me, when I am completely bedridden?

It is usually the family which continues to love and care however ill you might be. If your family finds it difficult or is unable to help you, there are several voluntary agencies that can help. Volunteers or home care teams in your city or town will be able to guide your family in caring for you, give your family a break if they are too tired and provide physical and psychological care. If at any point things become too difficult, there are hospitals and hospices available, where you can be taken care of.

What can I do to help my family handle my illness and death better?

Death and terminal illness are always difficult events in people's lives. Your family may be able to handle them better if you can talk to them about any wishes or desires that you might have or anything that you would like to resolve in the family. People always feel better if they can fulfil an ill person's wishes, however small they may be. Communicating with them and spending time with them may make losses easier to bear even though it may not completely take away the pain.

Why me? I never had bad habits, so why should it happen to me?

Such questions do come up in a person's mind. The exact answer would perhaps never be known. Sometimes, bad things may happen to good people. A lot of possible explanations may be there about why you got cancer in spite of a healthy lifestyle - for example, a genetic predisposition or exposure to a certain chemical. However, in most cases it is very difficult to know the cause and we may not be able to say precisely why this happened to you.

Who can I talk to when I have problems or when my family members or I have doubts or worries?

If the doubt or worry is about cancer or its treatment, you should talk to your doctor. However very often it is the care giving process or reactions of the family and the patient for which one needs help. People who are able to discuss their problems with others and who are able to access their support systems tend to cope better than those who remain isolated. Try to reach out to people you trust and have confidence in. In addition to your family and friends, you could also discuss your problems with a counsellor or with a palliative home care facility, if you have access to one in your city.

What is Morphine?

Morphine is a strong analgesic medicine, also known as a narcotic drug that is used to relieve pain and is very useful in severe pain that does not respond to other painkillers.

Can I laugh and be cheerful in front of the patient?

There is a great need to be cheerful and have humour in order to help you and the patient through this painful time. Laughing or being cheerful does not mean that you are being sensitive or unsupportive; rather it can be a great release from the seriousness of the situation. Laughter often helps to lighten the atmosphere and divert the patient's attention from trouble some issues. In fact, talking in whispers or a constrained atmosphere can cause suspicion and more distress - so learn to smile when you are with your ill relative.

Can I use other medicines such as Ayurvedic, Unani and Homeopathy to cure my disease?

Complementary systems of medicine have a lot to offer for the management of distressful symptoms such as pain, nausea, constipation, even though they may not able to alter significantly the course of the disease. Please discuss with your doctor before you start any of these treatments. Do not discontinue any treatment or drugs that you are already on before consulting your doctor. Remember to be honest with your doctor about the medications you are taking. This is important as your doctor will know about how these drugs and the allopathic drugs interact with each other.

Can you mercy kill me?

Patients often demand 'mercy killing' as they find the burden of the disease and its symptoms unbearable. With proper explanation, understanding and competent palliative care, most of the patient's problems related to the disease can be taken care of. Instead of thinking of mercy killing, we should understand the distress and try to relieve it. We know of a number of people who requested mercy killing, but once they were relieved of their pain, distress and depression, they were thankful that it was not done!

Has God abandoned me?

Such questions do come up in times of adversity. All scriptures affirm that God does not abandon anyone. Probably your present troubles are testing your faith. Reaffirming your faith and finding meaning in your illness will help you face the current problem with more confidence.